Category Archives: Relationships


Are Tolerations Blocking Your Success?

woman-690118_1280As an ICF certified coach, I assist my clients in identifying and removing any barriers or roadblocks to their success. This work involves looking for tolerations – a situation, a condition, or an influence of any kind that is allowed to exist and is less than ideal. It is something that is put up with or endured.

The reality of tolerations is that they eat up time, money, energy, mental space and are often a hindering influence that blocks us from having something we want. Despite the impact of tolerations on our health and well-being, relationships, productivity and money, we tend to accept them and the suffering that goes along with them as a part of the human experience. So, we continue to put up with, endure, take on, and are dragged down by people’s behavior (including our own), situations, unmet needs, crossed boundaries, unfinished business, and frustrations.

The good news is that tolerations can often be eliminated. The first step is to identify any harmful and hindering tolerations and acknowledge they are having an impact on your life. My favorite tool for this work is the Clean Sweep from Coach U. With this tool my clients self assess and score four areas of their life: Physical, Health & Well-Being, Money and Emotional Relationships. Next, they develop an action plan to remove the tolerations blocking them or strategies for accepting a condition or situation that can not be changed. Often, the only difference between toleration and acceptance is attitude and approach.

Are tolerations zapping your energy and resources? Are they keeping you up at night? Are you accepting tolerations as a way of your life?

What are you putting up with right now that’s getting in the way of you having a life you love?

  • Is your calendar managing you?
  • Are you making time for the things that are important to you?
  • Are you getting enough sleep? Drinking enough water?

  • Are you saying “yes” to others when you want to say “no” to them and “yes” to YOU?

  • Is the leadership style of your boss blocking you from producing your best results?

  • Any clutter in your physical spaces at home, your office, your car zapping your energy?

  • Do you have sufficient, consistent income to meet your goals?

Are you ready to stop tolerating?

  • Who will you have to become to stop tolerating?

  • How will you stop tolerating?

  • Who can help you?

At Kefi Coaching, we assist our clients in removing barriers by identifying and eliminating tolerations. We can also help you distinguish acceptance and how to differentiate between situations that can or can not be changed.

Contact us for more information regarding tolerations and any other questions you may have.


Cleaning Up For Spring


After much of the country has been covered in snow for the winter, I can’t help but think that dust and cobwebs is the least of our worry. Slush and sludge is more like it. Sometimes you’ve got to forgo the broom and get out the shovel.

While many of us might prefer not to live in the snow – I, for one, living in sunny California and having lived in Boston– not many would argue of its stunning beauty as it blankets the landscape, softening the city, quieting the hustle and bustle of our days. But, there is a point where it is all too much. And sometimes, it’s just unwelcome as it messes with traffic, causes damage from the weight on buildings, and even creates visibility problems.

What snow and sludge are you dealing with in your life? What thoughts have been weighing you down the most? What habits are mucking up your journey? What things do you just have too much of that are hampering your progress?

Here’s a couple of ways you can tackle your mental spring cleaning:

Use your pen as your shovel: Write down the thoughts that came to you as I asked the questions above. Get them out of your head. You’ll breathe easier and you’ll also be able to tackle your thoughts methodically, instead of having them fly around like asteroids in your brain.

Use your physical spring cleaning as metaphor: Whether you’re organizing your office or your brain, cleaning up your house or your life, you can use your physical chores to mirror what needs to happen in your heart and mind.

  • Imagine spoiled leftovers going down the garbage disposal to be bad habits that no longer serve you

  • Flush away anything clogging up your lifestyle by imagining it going down the drain as you wash out the bathtub

  • Clarify your vision as you clean the windows

  • As you mop and sweep, imagine the cobwebs in your mind being removed

Don’t forget to get outside and get some fresh air! Sweep off the porch, rake some leaves, and oh yeah, shovel some snow if you have to. Moving our bodies is good for the mind and breathing in some clean air can help our lungs and our mental states as well.

Do you have any spring cleaning tips? Real or metaphorical! Please comment below.